Saying Goodbye Is Hard

Sometimes when we loose someone we care about the most our world begins to fall apart. We stop eating or we eat too much. We cry a lot or not at all. We feel weightless and often times we feel guilty for not being there enough or putting them through so much suffering that we wish we could take it all back.

Right now I'm in the middle of grieving for my Pop Pop. He was such a wonderful grandfather. I remember when I was younger and all the way up until I could drive and he would take us to his and my Meeni Ma's house that we would play the "I see the smokestacks first!" game. Its where we see the local electricity plant towers either pumping out clouds or not and who ever sees them first would shout "I see the smokestacks first!". I remember the many times he would tell me or one of his other grandkids to pull his finger. It was always one of the funniest things to see.

He always had Andes mints in his room. Those little chocolate squares with a thin layer of mint in between the chocolate layers. His books he loves to read were these Tom Clancy books and the like. Its so weird to think that these are now just memories.

Its always hard for me to transition from seeing and knowing that they're still here somewhere living day to day to knowing all I have are memories. That their pictures are now priceless because thats all I have to see of their face. Its always hard to know that you can never hug them again or hear their voice.

Its always hard to say goodbye.

I love you and I'll always remember you.