It's been a while....

I wont lie and say that I've been extremely busy because the truth is that since I've been out of school for the summer I just haven't the motivation to do much of anything. I start off with momentum but somehow I always loose it fairly quickly. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am one of those people who find it easier to quit before it becomes too hard. 

I was in tee ball as a little girl and I quit because I just didn't want to do it anymore. I had the idea to write a short story but I hated the way it began. I had an internship then I found out that it wasn't legit because I didn't file the paperwork for school and I wouldn't like to waste their time or get the business in trouble because I was too excited and 'jumped the gun'. I always start with good intentions and hard work toward a goal but I seem to lack the hard motivation to go through with it. 

I can't say why I am that way but I realize that I need to change that part of me if I want to go further in life and do some of the amazing things I could hope is possible. So here it is...I am a commitment phobe (only when it comes to tasks and projects) and I want to change that part of me. So I am issuing a challenge to myself. 

1. I will wake up earlier to get things done.
2. I will make one commitment a day/week.
3. I will organize my life.
4. And lastly, the words "I can't" and "Impossible" are not in my vocabulary.

It's been a while but I will continue on to make my life better and stronger. I will move forward and continue on with a strong motivation. Because I can and I will and I will not be the one who is holding myself back. 

XOXO Stay Strong!

Rant With A Little Exercise

Hello my lovely readers! Happy Tuesday!

Okay so I'm not gonna lie, yesterday was pretty hard for me. I live with my mom to help pay for bills. My mom was laid off twice in the last two years and spent a good chunk of 2012 unemployed because it was hard for her to find a factory job. Luckily she was able to get a part-time job at a nursing home, the pays not the best but hey, its a job. I work and attend college and pay for what I can. Yesterday my mom received a letter in the mail from the bank who is the loan company on the house. Apparently being two months behind is immediately grounds for sixty days 'til they foreclose on your home.

I happened to have enough to cover the delinquent payments so its all good until next month. I have no ties to the house other than I helped my mom get it in the first place (the old place she lived was bought and the new owners gave residents sixty days to get a new place before they took down the trailer park, which is just an empty space of land they are now trying to sell) and the fact that I live under the roof. Its just hard to deal with because this is the first house my mom has ever owned and one of the nicest places we've lived.

Life is just hard nowadays. I finally understand why adults hate having to be responsible and sensible. Its insane the amount of things you have to keep up with just to get by let alone stay on top of things. House payments and insurance, car insurance, medical, groceries, electricity, water, and having to cook and clean and about a billion other things. Not to mention having to worry about if you could potentially loose your job. I really can't blame anyone for going insane by the age of 25.

Other than the usual angry rant about adult hood, everything else has been pretty suh-weet. I bought a game two days ago for my kinect called Nike+ Kinect Training. That thing kicked my butt. However it feels soooooooo good. My muscles hurt, are tired, and feel very sore. I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. I have to say I absolutely am adoring the heck out of my Nike FuelBand and Nike+ Kinect game. See a trend here?

I really do love exercising more than I did as a teen. Its exhilarating to feel your body screaming at you until you hit your goal. I feel sore either the next day or the day after and it always brings a smile to my face and its not because it hurts. Its because my feeling your tires muscles you know that your doing something right. I feel as if I'm becoming the person I want to be. Someone who is comfortable with themselves and confident enough to let the world know (I am totally a very shy person).

I think if you've read all the way to this point your probably sick of reading so I'll stop here. Thanks for stopping by!

Until next time darlings,
 XoXo Kayla

Make It Count

I am no longer a lazy couch potato!

I bet that got your attention, eh? I can't help but be excited about this 2013 year. Since January began I've been hitting the gym two to three days a week and running at least a mile everyday. I won't lie and say I haven't been lazy because I have. There are just some days I'd rather just lie in my bed. But I am proud to say that I've hit a total of nearly twelve miles since January and ran my fastest mile at 15' 52" today. I also just received the Nike FuelBand this afternoon and already earned nearly 3000 fuel points in just the few hours I've had it, 5K in combination of the FuelBand and the Nike+ running app.

You might be asking yourself what is the Nike FuelBand and fuel points? The FuelFand is a wearable "bracelet" that houses LED lights and a band of electronic equipment that tracks your movement and gives a rough estimate of Calories, Steps and converts it all into a point system that you can set as a goal to meet. There is a display of lights on the side that go from red to green in measure of your goal. You can download the app from the app store to keep track of your movement all day via bluetooth.

It is a little on the pricey side but it is an excellent motivator, connects you to others striving to complete a goal like your own, and is a excellent reminder to keep moving to complete a goal. I have fallen in love with my FuelBand in a relatively short time and hope to see more benefits that what I do now.

I am so sorry! Didn't mean to make this into a review, I just got overly excited. Getting up and getting active is something that has escaped me for a long time. I was made fun of from kindergarten to the day I graduated about my weight. I just never really bothered doing anything about it. As an adult I find myself more and more motivated to do something about it. I want to get up knowing I feel good about myself. Finally a dark cloud of self-consciousness and self-doubt can be lifted and taken out from under me.

I am happy to be running and hope to do more everyday. I am not "overweight" but I am happy to be working toward a body that I want. I want to make 2013 count for a goal I want to accomplish for myself. My main goal of 2013 is to become more confident. I want to know that when I leave my house I feel good about myself. In 2013 I will make everything I have count with Nike.

Challenge yourself. Reach for your dream. Make It Count.

 Love XOXO
 Kayla

I'm coming for you 2013!

You can only feel disappointed by wishes so many times before becoming discouraged. With 2013 just around the corner, literally, I find myself willing more than wishing. I want to create instead of dream, I want to live instead of waiting for life to happen. I've always been scared to get into the live stream of life, afraid to step into the light. I've always had stage fright. Not this year, not anymore. I've always wanted to do really cool things I never thought I could do. This is the year to live with no regrets, no missed opportunities.

I aim to challenge myself stepping into the New Year instead of making a resolution that I'll most likely break two weeks into the year. So instead of making a wish or resolution list I'm writing a list of challenges for myself.

CHALLENGES

1. I challenge myself to waking up earlier every morning and spending half an hour exercising before eating a healthy meal.

2. I challenge myself to writing more: blogs, scripts, songs, stories and poems.

 3. I challenge myself to getting out there: creating a YouTube show, acting in a play if possible.

4. I challenge myself to do more with photography and film.

5. I challenge myself to spend more time with friends and family.

So you've seen just some of the challenges I'm holding myself to for the YEAR, what are yours? What do you want to accomplish for yourself this year. Start with one challenge then move to the next soon you'll feel like you'll be on top of the world. You'll feel like you can accomplish anything. That's what I want to feel by the end of 2013. I want to feel like I can do anything that I want to if I just push myself. 

May you accomplish everything you desire and more in 2013! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)

 XoXo Kayla

November is Dovember.

It's unclear to me how time seems to just race past me. I fear that I'm missing the small things just as much as the big. Or maybe it's because I spend so much time running back and forth between school and work I just forget about everything else. Whatever it is I hope it makes time slow down so I can at the very least catch my breath.

Over the last month I seem to slowly be gaining a passion for what I really want in life. I truly am trying to come up with a plan to achieve this goal too. Maybe once I get the solid idea down I can begin the journey there. Life is fickle and scary but all I need to do is keep moving and then it doesn't seem so scary any more.

I guess that I've been so scared of failure from the past that I can't seem to move on to the future and to keep trying even if it doesn't work for the first time or a few after. Being scared of something is a normal part of life, letting it keep you down is not. My goal this month I'd to keep my head high and to KEEP MOVING FORWARD. This month I will make something happen. This month I will do what I really mean to instead of just believing that it will happen. NOVEMBER is DOVEMBER.

Windy September

September is a very welcome change in the pace of things. It's cooler and a bit more windier than I expected but it is a wonderful change in weather. I can only hope that it'll stay longer and I'll get to dance with it. Speaking of dancing, I am now am part of two shows on campus that will hopefully go live next week. Unfortunately they are only local and we don't stream online either. ;(

The more I think of what I want to do, the more excited I get to be a part of my campus community. Here at my college I am involved with a student organization called Natinal Broadcasting Society, or NBS for short. It is a wonderful society where we are a part of campus broadcasting for both radio and television. In the spring we have an amazing convention that takes place in cities like LA, New York, and Washington D.C. just to name a few. At these conventions we meet a lot of professionals who work in film, radio, and television both on air and behind the scenes. It is really an amazing experience to have. I learned an amazing amount not only about opportunities, internships, and resumes but the people who work in the industry and how they got there. There was an amazing amount of insight that I learned from these professionals.

I'm currently thinking about creating a web show on YouTube and kinda going from there. I'm not sure but I feel that I really need to start learning about anything and everything in my media environment and giving it my all. Right now I'm working on getting better at school like studying, organizing, etc.

I know that I still have much to work on and change about myself but to me I realize that by pushing too much, too fast onto my plate I become discouraged. I don't want to do much when that happens and I soon accept the minimum to get by. Trying harder isn't a weakness it just means that I'm giving it my all.

See you soon world, see you soon!

Getting In The Way

It feels so good to be back on campus again. I don't feel a surge of energy in my self for this semester but I do feel as though a change has come. I realize now how much effort I was putting towards work than my education, no education isn't the right word, career sounds much more homey. I continuously, over the last three semesters, put work before my career choice. And now that I know that I figured that I've missed a lot out while attending class while my focus was somewhere else. Where I can't change the past, I can change the future.

I will study more.

I'll spend more time on campus. 

I will work less and focus on my "career".

I will put more effort into class discussions/projects.

I WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY GIVEN TO ME.

For too long have I skimmed the surface of who I am and how much I really am capable of. I know I can do so much more than what I've done over the last year. I don't need someone to tell me that I can do it, I'm not saying that I don't want to hear it though! :), I just need to be the one who pushes myself to go further and work harder and look outside of the box. I use support from friends and family as a crutch instead of an inspiration to keep moving. It's time for me to become the adult I am and step up go after what I want to do in life. From now on I will follow my dream and not let myself get in the way.